Dinky DIY: Experts Guide to DIY Easter Show.

I just love Easter-time in Sydney.

I come from a long line of Sydney Royal Easter Show fanatics and feel the beginning tingles of anticipation when the evenings begin to bring a sharp chill and the days are shorter.

Dagwood dogs, my friends, are not a favourite of mine, but I have witnessed a record eating of 5 in one day.

So, to kick off my mounting excitement to Easter (even though I’m far from home at the moment) here is my, Experts Guide to DIY Easter Show.

Buy a fresh fruit salad and take your time checking out the agricultural displays in the Fruit & Veg Pavillion.
Sample the chilli jams and sauces in the Food Pavillion – but bring a bottle of water with you – they are crazy hot!
Check out the awesome cake decorating and be inspired for the next one you whip up.
Watch the wood chopping. You’ll be surprised at how thrilling you find it and, while the landed gentry can be rather uppity in their Laura Ashley heavyweight cotton shirts and big hats, they don’t mind at all if you bellow your opinions along with the other yahoos.
Follow strange noises (one year I followed the sounds of cheers to stumble upon a rodeo, once a semi-professional boxing match, once an impromptu open karaoke stage for Easter Show Idol... you never know what you might find!)
Walk around the Showbag Pavilion, decide it’s all crap, and then buy the Darrel Lea Pig Out Bag anyway.
Wine taste for free to give you a little Easter Show buzz (but the oyster bar always looks suss to me so nibble on those spicy nuts they have instead.)
Go to the Dairy Farmers Farmyard Nursery. It’s just too much fun, if you have kids, little sisters, brothers, nieces, nephews with you – all the better – but not necessary. Airey and I easily killed an hour here last year fantasizing about stealing a chick to take home and adopting lambs that sat on out laps as we channelled St Francis Assisi on hay bales. Fun, trust me.
Go nuts in Sideshow Alley. Yes, it’s an outrageous rip-off but there’s nothing like the sense of accomplishment when you win yourself an styrofoam-stuffed, oversized trophy (and ladies, I won’t pretend, the carnies will respond to a little friendly flirting.) Dare yourself do go on the scariest ride you can find. I was seriously doubting the strength of my pelvic floor last year, as I tried to hold a bladder that I feared would let me down while waiting to go on some nightmare of a ride. While I was making myself sick with fear, Airey was gleefully waiting on the safety of the ground, waving and taking pics of me.
Watch the evening spectacular in the arena. I am a bit of a snob when it comes to this one. I have member’s tickets and my family does like to dine in the members club overlooking the evening show. But really, nothing beats being out in the stands with some greasy hot chips and your mates, watching the patriotic efforts of Bluey the faithful dog, or the drover with his whip cracking, the speed demons in cars and on motorbikes and smelling the sulphuric delights of a cracking fireworks show.